How am I not myself?

This blog serves as personal therapy, stress relief, information sharing, and the occasional sanity check. Enjoy!

It’s shouldn’t matter! March 22, 2010

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 9:14 am

Ok, so I was filling out my Census form and I come to the section about children. I stop, and way, WTF?

Here’s what the government says about the information from the census:

“…the information the census collects helps to determine how more than $400 billion dollars of federal funding each year is spent on infrastructure and services like:

  • Hospitals
  • Job training centers
  • Schools
  • Senior centers
  • Bridges, tunnels and other-public works projects
  • Emergency services”

So why, when I get to the section on children, does it ask me not if I have “children”, but “biological children” or “adopted children”? Why does that matter?! I didn’t realize that adoption was pertinent to planning bridges or Schools. Would me “adopted” child be in a different class than a “bio” child? Drive on a different street than a “bio” child? NO. So why is this something that needs differentiation on my Census form? I was so mad!

My friend also had a post on a topic similar to this where her HR dept wanted her specify “adopted son” or just “son” on some paperwork. These are our “sons”! It doesn’t matter whether or not they were adopted…they are STILL OUR SONS!

As long as people/agencies/HR depts. segregate adopted children from others, there will always be that Lifetime movie, BM-coming-back-to-rip-him out-of-our-arms, adopted kids really aren’t “YOUR” kids, stereotype. OOOO….I’m so mad just writing this!

Ok…simmer down…serenity now…

I wrote a previous post about Adoption Language. I say to you, dear government: LEARN IT, KNOW IT, LIVE IT. And drop this negative language from your forms!! Good day to you sir!

 

8 Months!

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 8:49 am

Well, Peanut turned 8 months old at the end of last week. I can’t believe it’s been 8 months already! Time really does fly! People always say how fast it goes, but before you actually have children, you can’t fully appreciate what they mean. I swear, I put peanut down for a nap, and he looks different when he wakes up! Not that he’s napping, or sleeping, right now…

We have hit an age of milestones and alertness. The books tell me what I can expect at 8 months: Pulling himself up to stand, starting to crawl, scooting backwards/on his bum, holding things between his forefinger and thumb, lots of babbling, etc. He’s doing all of that right now, and add teething to that, and you have one crazy baby!

He’s night waking all the time now and wants to be held. He’s having dreams now (his visual memory is getting stronger) and is also sleeping (well, not actually sleeping) without his reflux wedge now. We have the mattress at an angle, so he won’t have any relapse with it. So far, so good on that front. He’s outgrown the wedge and doesn’t seem to need it like before.

Separation anxiety sets in at about 8 months, and this kid has it in spades.

The teething is constant now…drooling, pooping, crabby, needy, not wanting to eat as much unless it’s a bottle, chewing on EVERYTHING, and just all-around miserable. It’s worse at night…he has nothing to distract him. I also believe the pressure from laying down may be bothering his as well…? We use teething tablets, motrin, tylenol, orajel, cold teething toys (he’s not a fan); they work a little, but not so much at night. Any advice is appreciated!

So what does this mean? It means he’s only napping about a 1/2 hour in the am and 1/2 hour in the afternoon. He wakes up screaming, and will only settle down when he’s held. And, no, it’s not an ear infection. No fever.

He wakes up screaming (the pain cry!) and continues for a couple to a few hours every night. Last night was the worst, and he got a total of about 5 hours of sleep…poor kid. WHEN WILL THESE TEETH COME IN??!!

Ok…enough bitching. There are also so many wonderful things going on, so I’m trying to focus on those. For instance, he said his first word last week…MAMA! YAY!!

It makes going through all of this craziness TOTALLY worth it. I love my little peanut so much! I have to say, I will be soooo glad when these first teeth finally come through. I hope it’s soon!

 

Look at this face! February 18, 2010

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 3:20 pm

 

7 months old!

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 3:14 pm

Well, the last two months have been full of change for my little peanut. This means he has been happy, crabby, screaming, laughing, crying, and smiling all at once. One day is wonderful, and another brings tears. Here’s the scoop:

Peanut just went thorough a HUGE growth spurt. He grew 3 inches in a month, and gained almost two pounds. Long and lean, the doc says. His head grew an inch and a half in circumference (it’s like an orange on a toothpick!) and he is hitting milestones like crazy. Last month he mastered sitting up and is now working on pulling himself up on things. He can scoot around the floor on his tush, and know who mama, dada, and kitty-cat are. He raises his arms up when you say “sooooo big!”, and can pinch things between his fingers. The doc says he’s ahead and he’ll probably be one of those kids who walks at 9 months. I had better start baby-proofing…

Another thing…the teething. It has hit it’s peak (I hope) and no teeth in site. He is always chewing on something…binky, stacking sups, teething beads, his hands, my hands, etc. He’s usually in good spirits about it, except at night. That’s when it’s the worst. Poor little guy. He has been teething for 3 months already…where are the teeth!!??

All of this change means my baby, who has been sleeping through the night since he was two months old, is now…well…NOT. He’s up at least twice night. For the first week, we picked him up and rocked him back to sleep, but he was getting used to that. Not good. I decided to take action and went to him in stages. When he cried, I went in a shhhhhhhhhed him and rubbed his belly and head. No picking up. I did this for 10 minutes. Then I left for 5, which is when the crying escalated. I waited. This was the hardest thing ever. Then I went back in and shhhhhhhhhhhed and rubbed his head and belly. Same thing. Left again…same thing. Once more I went in there and did the rubbing, shhhhhhing thing. He now had tears in his eyes, and so did I. BUT, he finally fell asleep and has slept (knock on wood) the last two nights through. 🙂

What was so great was my husband…he was watching everything I did on the video monitor in Peanut’s room. He said that he remembers when he was going through hard times (moving to a strange state, losing his brother) that me rubbing his head and softly shhhhhhing in his ear was the only thing that would comfort him. He said I was a wonderful, loving mother and wife and he loved me so much. It was a wonderful moment!

Speaking of love, Peanut is now hugging me and giving me big slobbery kisses on my face. He knows exactly what they are and will do it when I ask him to…but only to me, not David. I think it’s the stubble. I LOVE that my boys love me and I feel so blessed every day that this is my life. I fall more in love with them both every day!

 

Adoption Profiles January 15, 2010

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 4:46 pm

Some of you may know our story, and some may not, but I wanted to share a little about Adoption Profiles and our experiences.

We waited 13 months for our son. 13 long, long months. We were profiled 12 times before we were chosen, using our first profile. After being profiled and not chosen that many times, I decided I may need to take aggressive action.

Right about that time, I heard a story on my favorite podcast, This American Life. They interviewed a birthmom, sharing her experience with choosing an adoptive family. She spoke of how she got a stack of profiles in the mail and had to choose one family to raise her child. She goes on to say that every birthmother letter looked the same to her: they all liked the outdoors (this in in Oregon), they all were active, they all went to college, they all had regular jobs and regular houses. Nothing stood out…they all blurred together. She had to go through this difficult process and was just overwhelmed with information from these families…letters…pictures…captions…blah…blah…blah.

So a lightbulb went on over my head (ok, maybe just a candle) and I said to myself, “Self, you need to simplify!”

I had designed out first profile like a scrapbook. First, the letter introducing us to the birthmom. Then some facts about us, followed by lots of pictures with different backgrounds, captions, etc. Busy, busy, busy. I had originally thought I wanted to give her as much information as possible. Now I can see that this was probably the reason we weren’t chosen so many times. This poor woman is going through a very emotional time; she doesn’t want to be bombarded with names, places, and faces. She just wants the basics about us.

With that in mind, I redesigned our entire profile. I scaled way back, and kept to a consistent color and design scheme throughout the entire book (I have a design background). I excluded captions. I broke up the Dear Birthmother letter and made it flow throughout the book. I ended it with a thank you and a peace sign next to our names. Print, ship, and distribute.

Guess what? We were chosen the very next time!

So…I decided I wanted to help other adoptive families. I started my own business designing and printing Adoption Profiles and Lifebooks. I also do profile review. My adoption agency heard of this and started asking me to come and speak to other families about what to do…and what not to do…when creating their profiles. They use our old and new profiles as examples for prospective adoptive parents!

So, the new biz is called Petite Publishing (www.petitepublishing.com). The link is also in the right margin of this blog). Check it out! I have our profile up there as a sample. I have also started Twittering adoption information (mdlasure) and I post my blog entires to my Facebook page. That, in turn, has put me in contact with lots of people who want to hear about our adoption experiences. So many people want to adopt and if I can help in that process, I’m happy to do it.

Check out the site and let me know what you think…and if you have questions, want help with your profiles, or just want to chat, let me know!

 

Peanut Update January 14, 2010

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 8:59 pm

Peanut will be six months old next week…how did that happen so fast?! When I was holding him today I remarked to David about how he is double the size he was when we brought him home. My hand was the length of his entire body, now it’s just the size of his little bottom. He’s eating three meals a day now (loves pears, hates peas) and is 14+ pounds. He can roll over from front to back, is close to rolling from back to front, pulls up his knees during tummy time, and can sit up all by himself! He reaches for me now (melts my heart) and makes all sorts of funny noises. He laughs a lot, and hardly ever cries. He loves to play with my keyboard when he’s on my lap in front of my desk, so I got out an old keyboard so he can feel like a big boy!

The relationship we have with his birthmom has grown as well. We email at least once a week, and are really getting to be friends. She is wonderful! She has such a positive attitude and really seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I am growing to love her like family…beacuse she is. 😉

Lastest pic…sitting up on his own!

 

The Holidays

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 8:42 pm

It was a wonderful holiday; our first Christmas as a family. 🙂

We spent Christmas Eve at my in-law’s house. Grandpa set up an electric train and the Peanut (nickname for Nicholas from now on…) watched it go around and around. He was fascinated! I think Grandpa liked watching Peanut enjoy it more than anything…it was a wonderful moment. Christmas Day brought both sides of the family here for dinner and presents. I made turkey…two breasts instead of a whole turkey (who has the time?!) and all the trimmings. The breasts cooked in half the time and were delicious! I’ll never make a whole turkey again!

Christmas morning was just for us…Peanut opened his first present ever; a soft stuffed rainbow ball that has a bell in it. He liked it!  We rolled it back and forth to him and he laughs every time. I also got the book, “Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born” by Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s about adoption and it’s a wonderful story. It’s a great way to talk to your child about open adoption. We are starting already so that there will never be a time that he doesn’t know about his birthmom.

We took some holiday pictures, and enjoyed the evening by the lights on the tree. Just perfect! What a wonderful way to end a fantastic year. We have been so blessed this year…and I’m thankful every minute of every day for my son, my family, and my life. Here’s to a great 2010!