How am I not myself?

This blog serves as personal therapy, stress relief, information sharing, and the occasional sanity check. Enjoy!

11 years! June 20, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — My Dysfunctional Life @ 4:20 pm

David and I have been married 11 years today! Most of you know our story, but I love telling it, so here it is again.

We both went to Woodward summer camp in Woodward, PA, which specializes in gymnastics and BMX bike training. After working out for several hours a day, the girls would go watch the boys racing on the BMX track. We stood at the fence and cheered for no one special. However, one guy was particularly cute and I wanted to meet him. He apparently felt the same, because his friend proceeded to come over to me and tell me that he (David) liked me. Hey, I was 12, and he was 13…this is what crazy kids do. Anyway, he won one of the races and then came over to say hello after the final race for the day.

He asked me to the camp dance that Friday! We had a blast…dancing to all of the cheesy 80’s songs we all know and love/loathe…Whitney Houston, Def Leppard, Wham!…you know the deal. I can honestly say that I fell in love with him that night. We had a quick kiss that night (our firsts!) and he left that Sunday.

We exchanged letters and phone calls for the next 5 years, then he asked my to fly up to Buffalo to go to the prom (I was in NJ). Yay! After our moms talked for a long time, I was allowed to go. We had a great time at the prom (the one and only time I wore pink) and for the rest of that weekend, got to talk about our hopes and dreams. I met all of his friends, we went to the Poison concert (yikes!), and had a wonderful time hanging out with each other. I knew this was the man (boy) I would love forever.

We both graduated, went to college in different states, etc. but still wrote letters to each other. Eight years later, I had moved back to NJ and decided we should get together and visit. I was house sitting for a friend of my mother’s, so he came down and spent a week with me. It was great!  We still loved each other and decided we didn’t want to be apart again. We made trips back and forth for the next six months from Montclair to Buffalo and got engaged that Christmas. We were married six months later and have been happily married since.

What makes our marriage work is mutual respect and trust. We talk about everything, respect each others opinions even when we disagree, and genuinely love to be together.

Now we hope to add to our family through the miracle of adoption. I kept praying that David would be a father by Father’s Day this year, but I guess that wasn’t meant to be. I hope this summer brings a baby and the start of our forever family!

Thanks for a wonderful marriage, David. I love you more and more each day and I’m so thankful that we found each other all those years ago. Happy Anniversary!


Irony June 15, 2009

Filed under: Infertility — My Dysfunctional Life @ 8:23 pm

A friend posted this on her blog, and I just HAD to post it again here.

Ever wanted to know the function of a particular organ, get a picture of it for a school project, or just want to kill some time surfing for the strange and unusual? I Heart Guts is the brainchild of an anatomically obsessed illustrator who loves internal organs and all they do. You just click on the thumbnail of an organ and you get a little blurb all about its functions. Pretty neat.

However, those of us suffering from infertility see this a bit differently.

Here’s the text at the top of the Home page:


A uterus recall…yeah, tell me about it.


A little R&R

Filed under: Uncategorized — My Dysfunctional Life @ 8:11 pm

Last week I took a week off…it was awesome! I have been working 12 hour days on a project at work, which was in the final stanges after the first week of June. I was wiped out and needed a little down time. I hadn’t had time off since Christmas, so I was due.

Although it was a “vacation”, I caught up on much-needed paperwork, design work, social work, and spent some time with friends and family. It was great! I finished a great book, worked in the garden, looked at cars (decided not to sell my Mini), painted our bedroom, and did some website design. [Petite Publishing should be up and running in July.] I’m also taking a couple more days off at the end of the month for my cousin’s baby shower in Cleveland, so I’m looking forward to that.

I am refreshed and ready to go back to work. However, I have been approached by several schools and a business with job offers recently…very tempting. I’ll keep you posted on that.


One Year… June 4, 2009

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 9:00 am

One year of waiting for our baby to find us.

One year of little clothes being folded in the dresser waiting for someone to wear them.

One year of a rocking chair aching to soothe a little one to sleep.

One year of moon and stars decorations hanging to make a little someone smile.

One year of a cradle sitting unused in the corner.

One year of a closet full of toys ready to be played with.

One year of books sitting on a shelf looking to share their stories with a curious little mind.

One year of folded blankets wanting to wrap a baby in warmth and security.

One year of photo albums and baby books waiting to be filled with pictures and souvenirs from christenings, birthdays, holidays, and special times with family.

One year of baby bath gear waiting to be filled with bubbles.

One year of my arms aching to hold a baby, feed a baby, soothe a baby.

One year of tears shed, emotions tested, feelings shared, supporting others.

One year full of questions…”Will this be the one?”

One year of picking out names for our little boy or girl.

One year of dreaming of our lives with a special child.

One year of hope, wishes, and love sent to our future baby…

I hope you find your way to us soon.