Well, we were profiled for another adoption case about a week and a half ago. On Wednesday, I came home from GBB to find a message on my machine from our family advocate at the adoption agency saying she wanted to touch base and follow up about this particular case. Now our family advocate is great, but she usually doesn’t call to tell us we didn’t get picked…I usually call her after a couple of weeks goes by, and that’s fine. But when I heard this message, naturally I thought, “This could be IT!” David and I were so excited, and even had trouble sleeping that night. Could it be that my prayers had finally been answered? Would I get the birthday gift of a lifetime?
Unfortunately, no. I called the agency the next day to find out that the birthmom had chosen another family. That is now 7 times we have been profiled and 7 times we haven’t been chosen. David and I cried, yelled, and cried some more. It was a bad night.
So today, I’m packing up the baby’s room and turning it back into a guest room. I’m breaking down the changing table and storing all of the baskets on it (full of diapers, creams, powder, etc.) and storing them in the closet. The cradle is going into the basement with the crib; then I can stop staring at that room with longing. I walk by it 20 times a day and I just can’t look at it anymore.
I’ll never stop praying, wishing, hoping that this will happen soon, but the constant reminders are just too much. David says the same thing. We just renewed our home study for another year, though I’m hoping that this is the last time we have to do that.
In the meantime, I’m redoing our adoption profile and I’m starting my own little biz helping others do the same. I’ll stay involved in SOFIA, because it gives me hope seeing others who have adopted. I’ll attend charity events for adoption non-profits so I can help others with their adoption jouneys. I have got to stay busy! And I’ll wish on my candles tonight that the next call is our baby. I wish…I wish…