How am I not myself?

This blog serves as personal therapy, stress relief, information sharing, and the occasional sanity check. Enjoy!

9 Months… March 3, 2009

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 11:06 am

Today marks 9 months that we have been waiting for our baby. We have been profiled several times, but not picked yet. You guys all know I am always a happy and positive person about everything, but I’m starting to get discouraged. We are so emotionally and physically ready for this baby, that each day that passes gets harder, instead of easier. I have been doing everything I can to stay busy, but thoughts of being a mother never leave my mind. I have heard people say that they just go on living their daily lives and forget about the adoption, then they get “the call”.  How can I forget? We are living our lives as we always do…working, playing, spending time with friends and family, and as much as I try to put the adoption out of mind, I can’t. It’s always there…in the back of my brain. I know it will happen for us, so I just need to be patient a while longer. Patience had never been one of my strong suits a few years ago, but now I have learned to be patient with everything. So I will continue to be patient and just keep breathing until our star is born.

Breathe in…breathe out…


4 Responses to “9 Months…”

  1. Beth Says:

    I have been keeping pretty busy myself lately, too. Now that my least favorite month of the year is looming before me and I have some time on my hands, I am doing some self-reflection and taking stock of my life. My Facebook status says: “Elizabeth sometimes lies awake at night and asks, “Why me?”, then a voice answers “Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.” But, I guess the real question I want to ask is “Why not me?” Why don’t I get it all … husband, family, etc. ? I have so much to be greatful for and I am. So why do the things that escape my grasp seem so important? I don’t feel like I am being selfish. I am willing to open myself up and share my life. If I am not meant to have these things than why do I want them so badly? If I resign myself to the possibility that I will never have them, am I giving up hope? Will karma punish me because I lost faith? At the end of this life, will St. Peter say “We had the perfect set up all ready for you. Why did you loose your faith when you were so close?” 0ne of my favorite quotes is: “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.” Its from “A Mircle on 34th Street”. Here is my promise to you, my dear friend, I will keep internet dating (Ugh! I hope you appreciate how distasteful it is … one guy wrote that he was “in-touch with his femine side” and wears “high heels – Oh la la” … seriously, his words.), but you have to keep the faith, too. Misery loves company, right? I can’t ease your pain, but I can suffer in my own way right along with you. If there is anything else a friend that’s across the ocean can do, just say the word!

  2. eeyore Says:

    From the Zen of Dory
    “Just Keep Swimming Just Keep Swimming”

    I feel for you hon I really do, and it makes me mad that half-baked nut jobs get 14 children and two fantastic, caring adults long for just one. Why a loving God would do this sometimes makes me question my faith. However, good things come to those who wait and this is a test. Hopefully you won’t lose all your livestock and get boils or anything, but it is a test just the same. Be tough, Be Sicilian, hang in there, know peeps are praying and thinking about you.. All that good karma will pay off.

    On a more serious note…have you and your husband mentioned you are die hard Steeler Fans on your adoption profile by any chance? That could be what’s holding everything up! 🙂

  3. Maru Says:

    Hang in there… I’m sending prayers your way… Big hugs. :o)

  4. mdlasure Says:

    Thanks so much for all of your support and prayers. It really helps! Maru, I am sending prayers back to you…you’ll have your little one soon as well!

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