How am I not myself?

This blog serves as personal therapy, stress relief, information sharing, and the occasional sanity check. Enjoy!

Emotional Rollercoaster November 30, 2008

Filed under: Adoption — My Dysfunctional Life @ 4:30 pm

Original post: Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Well, today is my prediction day and, guess what? We got a baby call yesterday.

Now don’t get excited, there is a lot of information you need to know. The agency basically calls us and asks us if we want to be “profiled” for a case…meaning the birthmother gets our profile, along with 2-3 others, and makes a decision on who will raise her baby.

When our family advocate from the adoption agency calls us like that, she gives us the background on the mother, and any other info they have. Keep in mind, the background info is not usually medical records, it what the birthmother fills out on her adoption forms.

So this case was a baby boy, and the mother had lots of issues. She had prenatal care, and the baby was born at a normal weight and length, so that was positive. The Apgar scores were also good; 8 and 9, respectively. However, we didn’t have those until an hour ago. In the meantime, we were told the mother had used cocaine, heroin, and Oxycontin, and had been on Wellbutrin for depression, and Ritalin for ADHD. Wow. Those are the kinds of things that scare you out of your mind.

So the baby tested positive for opiates yesterday afternoon, but it was a small amount and he didn’t need methadone for withdrawal. He wasn’t feeding well, however, so the hospital was going to keep him one more day. Other than the feeding, they were going to release him.

Oh, and the birthmother chose us to raise her baby.

Well, David and I discussed this case at length, spoke to our doctors, spoke to other adoptive families, etc. and spent a sleepless night deciding what to do.

We spent some time this morning go over the case again and got more info from the agency. David came home from work for an hour and we talked, cried, and talked more, and came to the decision that this one wasn’t meant for us.

When we got the call, we didn’t have that YIPPEE!! feeling, like we think we should have. We had lots of doubts, and not a lot of info, and we decided that those doubts were fate’s way of telling us that this one wasn’t meant for us.

We will have many other opportunities to be profiled in the future, and we’ll know when the right baby finds its way to us. Until then, we wait, hope, and wait some more.

I have to go take some Pepto now; my stomach is killing me from being in knots!

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