Here’s what the government says about the information from the census:

“…the information the census collects helps to determine how more than $400 billion dollars of federal funding each year is spent on infrastructure and services like:

• Hospitals
• Job training centers
• Schools
• Senior centers
• Bridges, tunnels and other-public works projects
• Emergency services”

So why, when I get to the section on children, does it ask me not if I have “children”, but “biological children” or “adopted children”? Why does that matter?! I didn’t realize that adoption was pertinent to planning bridges or Schools. Would me “adopted” child be in a different class than a “bio” child? Drive on a different street than a “bio” child? NO. So why is this something that needs differentiation on my Census form? I was so mad!

My friend also had a post on a topic similar to this where her HR dept wanted her specify “adopted son” or just “son” on some paperwork. These are our “sons”! It doesn’t matter whether or not they were adopted…they are STILL OUR SONS!

As long as people/agencies/HR depts. segregate adopted children from others, there will always be that Lifetime movie, BM-coming-back-to-rip-him out-of-our-arms, adopted kids really aren’t “YOUR” kids, stereotype. OOOO….I’m so mad just writing this!

Ok…simmer down…serenity now…

I wrote a previous post about Adoption Language. I say to you, dear government: LEARN IT, KNOW IT, LIVE IT. And drop this negative language from your forms!! Good day to you sir!

We have hit an age of milestones and alertness. The books tell me what I can expect at 8 months: Pulling himself up to stand, starting to crawl, scooting backwards/on his bum, holding things between his forefinger and thumb, lots of babbling, etc. He’s doing all of that right now, and add teething to that, and you have one crazy baby!

He’s night waking all the time now and wants to be held. He’s having dreams now (his visual memory is getting stronger) and is also sleeping (well, not actually sleeping) without his reflux wedge now. We have the mattress at an angle, so he won’t have any relapse with it. So far, so good on that front. He’s outgrown the wedge and doesn’t seem to need it like before.

Separation anxiety sets in at about 8 months, and this kid has it in spades.

The teething is constant now…drooling, pooping, crabby, needy, not wanting to eat as much unless it’s a bottle, chewing on EVERYTHING, and just all-around miserable. It’s worse at night…he has nothing to distract him. I also believe the pressure from laying down may be bothering his as well…? We use teething tablets, motrin, tylenol, orajel, cold teething toys (he’s not a fan); they work a little, but not so much at night. Any advice is appreciated!

So what does this mean? It means he’s only napping about a 1/2 hour in the am and 1/2 hour in the afternoon. He wakes up screaming, and will only settle down when he’s held. And, no, it’s not an ear infection. No fever.

He wakes up screaming (the pain cry!) and continues for a couple to a few hours every night. Last night was the worst, and he got a total of about 5 hours of sleep…poor kid. WHEN WILL THESE TEETH COME IN??!!

Ok…enough bitching. There are also so many wonderful things going on, so I’m trying to focus on those. For instance, he said his first word last week…MAMA! YAY!!

It makes going through all of this craziness TOTALLY worth it. I love my little peanut so much! I have to say, I will be soooo glad when these first teeth finally come through. I hope it’s soon!

Peanut just went thorough a HUGE growth spurt. He grew 3 inches in a month, and gained almost two pounds. Long and lean, the doc says. His head grew an inch and a half in circumference (it’s like an orange on a toothpick!) and he is hitting milestones like crazy. Last month he mastered sitting up and is now working on pulling himself up on things. He can scoot around the floor on his tush, and know who mama, dada, and kitty-cat are. He raises his arms up when you say “sooooo big!”, and can pinch things between his fingers. The doc says he’s ahead and he’ll probably be one of those kids who walks at 9 months. I had better start baby-proofing…

Another thing…the teething. It has hit it’s peak (I hope) and no teeth in site. He is always chewing on something…binky, stacking sups, teething beads, his hands, my hands, etc. He’s usually in good spirits about it, except at night. That’s when it’s the worst. Poor little guy. He has been teething for 3 months already…where are the teeth!!??

All of this change means my baby, who has been sleeping through the night since he was two months old, is now…well…NOT. He’s up at least twice night. For the first week, we picked him up and rocked him back to sleep, but he was getting used to that. Not good. I decided to take action and went to him in stages. When he cried, I went in a shhhhhhhhhed him and rubbed his belly and head. No picking up. I did this for 10 minutes. Then I left for 5, which is when the crying escalated. I waited. This was the hardest thing ever. Then I went back in and shhhhhhhhhhhed and rubbed his head and belly. Same thing. Left again…same thing. Once more I went in there and did the rubbing, shhhhhhing thing. He now had tears in his eyes, and so did I. BUT, he finally fell asleep and has slept (knock on wood) the last two nights through.

What was so great was my husband…he was watching everything I did on the video monitor in Peanut’s room. He said that he remembers when he was going through hard times (moving to a strange state, losing his brother) that me rubbing his head and softly shhhhhhing in his ear was the only thing that would comfort him. He said I was a wonderful, loving mother and wife and he loved me so much. It was a wonderful moment!

Speaking of love, Peanut is now hugging me and giving me big slobbery kisses on my face. He knows exactly what they are and will do it when I ask him to…but only to me, not David. I think it’s the stubble. I LOVE that my boys love me and I feel so blessed every day that this is my life. I fall more in love with them both every day!

We waited 13 months for our son. 13 long, long months. We were profiled 12 times before we were chosen, using our first profile. After being profiled and not chosen that many times, I decided I may need to take aggressive action.

Right about that time, I heard a story on my favorite podcast, This American Life. They interviewed a birthmom, sharing her experience with choosing an adoptive family. She spoke of how she got a stack of profiles in the mail and had to choose one family to raise her child. She goes on to say that every birthmother letter looked the same to her: they all liked the outdoors (this in in Oregon), they all were active, they all went to college, they all had regular jobs and regular houses. Nothing stood out…they all blurred together. She had to go through this difficult process and was just overwhelmed with information from these families…letters…pictures…captions…blah…blah…blah.

So a lightbulb went on over my head (ok, maybe just a candle) and I said to myself, “Self, you need to simplify!”

I had designed out first profile like a scrapbook. First, the letter introducing us to the birthmom. Then some facts about us, followed by lots of pictures with different backgrounds, captions, etc. Busy, busy, busy. I had originally thought I wanted to give her as much information as possible. Now I can see that this was probably the reason we weren’t chosen so many times. This poor woman is going through a very emotional time; she doesn’t want to be bombarded with names, places, and faces. She just wants the basics about us.

With that in mind, I redesigned our entire profile. I scaled way back, and kept to a consistent color and design scheme throughout the entire book (I have a design background). I excluded captions. I broke up the Dear Birthmother letter and made it flow throughout the book. I ended it with a thank you and a peace sign next to our names. Print, ship, and distribute.

Guess what? We were chosen the very next time!

So…I decided I wanted to help other adoptive families. I started my own business designing and printing Adoption Profiles and Lifebooks. I also do profile review. My adoption agency heard of this and started asking me to come and speak to other families about what to do…and what not to do…when creating their profiles. They use our old and new profiles as examples for prospective adoptive parents!

So, the new biz is called Petite Publishing (www.petitepublishing.com). The link is also in the right margin of this blog). Check it out! I have our profile up there as a sample. I have also started Twittering adoption information (mdlasure) and I post my blog entires to my Facebook page. That, in turn, has put me in contact with lots of people who want to hear about our adoption experiences. So many people want to adopt and if I can help in that process, I’m happy to do it.

Check out the site and let me know what you think…and if you have questions, want help with your profiles, or just want to chat, let me know!

The relationship we have with his birthmom has grown as well. We email at least once a week, and are really getting to be friends. She is wonderful! She has such a positive attitude and really seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I am growing to love her like family…beacuse she is.

Lastest pic…sitting up on his own!

We spent Christmas Eve at my in-law’s house. Grandpa set up an electric train and the Peanut (nickname for Nicholas from now on…) watched it go around and around. He was fascinated! I think Grandpa liked watching Peanut enjoy it more than anything…it was a wonderful moment. Christmas Day brought both sides of the family here for dinner and presents. I made turkey…two breasts instead of a whole turkey (who has the time?!) and all the trimmings. The breasts cooked in half the time and were delicious! I’ll never make a whole turkey again!

Christmas morning was just for us…Peanut opened his first present ever; a soft stuffed rainbow ball that has a bell in it. He liked it!  We rolled it back and forth to him and he laughs every time. I also got the book, “Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born” by Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s about adoption and it’s a wonderful story. It’s a great way to talk to your child about open adoption. We are starting already so that there will never be a time that he doesn’t know about his birthmom.

We took some holiday pictures, and enjoyed the evening by the lights on the tree. Just perfect! What a wonderful way to end a fantastic year. We have been so blessed this year…and I’m thankful every minute of every day for my son, my family, and my life. Here’s to a great 2010!

We have so much to be thankful for…we have the been given the most wonderful gift, and feel like we are the luckiest people in the world.

To everyone who has followed our adoption journey over the last few years…thank you for your suppport and kind words. Have a safe and healthy holiday and a happy new year!!

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
When all thru the abode,
Only one creature was stirring,
And she was cleaning the commode.

The children were finally sleeping,
All snug in their beds,
While visions of N-64 & Barbie
Flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring
In front of the TV,
With a half-constructed bicycle
Propped on his knee.

So only the mom
Heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
Which made her sigh,
“Now what is the matter?”

With toilet bowl brush
Still clutched in her hand,
She descended the stairs,
And saw the old man.

He was covered with ashes
Which fell with a shrug;
“Oh great,” muttered the mom,
“Now I have to clean the rug.”

“Ho Ho Ho!” cried Santa,
“I’m glad you’re awake.”
“Your gift was especially
Difficult to make.”

“Thanks, Santa, but all I want
Is time alone.”
“Exactly!” he chuckled.
“So, I’ve made you a clone.”

“A clone?” she muttered.
“What good is that?”
“Run along, Santa;
I’ve no time for chit chat.”

Then out walked the clone -
The mother’s twin;
Same hair, same eyes,
Same double chin.

“Fantastic!” the mom cheered.
“My dream has come true!”
“I’ll shop, I’ll read,
“I’ll sleep a night through!”

From the room above,
The youngest did fret.
“Mommy! Come quickly,
“‘I’m scared & I’m wet.”

The clone replied,
“I’m coming, sweetheart.”
“Hey,” the mom smiled.
“She sure knows her part.”

The clone changed the small one
And hummed her a tune,
As she bundled the child
In a blanket cocoon.

“You’re the best mommy ever;
“I really love you.”
The clone smiled & sighed,
“And I love you, too.”

The mom frowned & said,
“Sorry, Santa, no deal.”
That’s my child’s LOVE
She is trying to steal.”

Smiling wisely, Santa said,
“To me it is clear,
“Only one loving mother
“Is needed here.”

The mom kissed her child
And tucked her in bed.
“Thank You, Santa,
“for clearing my head.

“I sometimes forget
“That it won’t be very long
“When they’ll be too old
“For my cradle & song.”

The clock on the mantle
Began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone,
“It works every time.”

With the clone by his side,
Santa said “Goodnight.
“Merry Christmas, dear Mom.
“You will be all right.”

Sometimes we need reminding of what life is all about. Especially at times
during the holiday season, when all we seem to do is clean and bake and shop
and and and and and and….You get the picture. So stop for a moment
and hug that little one so special, whether he/she is 2 months or 22 years, or
even older than that. For they are the gift that was given to us … and
what a gift to be treasured, far above any other!

May the real meaning of Christmas be with you all this year.

I can’t believe he’ll be 5 months old on Sunday-Peanut is growing by leaps and bounds! He is laughing out loud, has doubled his weight (13# now!), and very wiggly. He can roll over from front to back, and sooo close to rolling from back to front. He pushes up on straight arms when on his tummy, and is pulling both legs up and lifting his bottom, trying to crawl already. He is also sitting up…he doesn’t need much help either. He can pull himself up to sitting from a laid-back position, and can sit forward on his hands, then pull himself back up to sitting upright. Very strong. He loves eating solid food–pears are his favorite. He opens his mouth right up and eats about a tablespoon of fruit/cereal mixed. YUM!

He sings a lot! Loves to make noises. We sing together every morning…it’s the best! He is also teething like crazy…I can feel four under the skin on top, and four along the bottom. The ped says he may just get them all at once. Some days are no problem, but he’s been waking up a lot at night, chewing on his hands and binky. Oh yeah- we aren’t swaddling him anymore, which probably has contributed to the waking. He’ll adjust…it’s all part of growing up. He kept breaking out of the swaddle and woke himself up trying several times, so we figured it was time to move on.

I love watching him try to figure things out. He’ll sit and watch me do something for a bit, then want to do it. He’s been watching me drink water from a glass, and actually REACHED out for my glass a couple of days ago. I held it up to his lips and he drank! TWICE! We’ll be on cups before you know it. He took to the spoon easily, so I hope the cup is the same.

We watch Baby Einstein on my laptop and he’s figured out that when the mouse disappears from the screen, he can tap the touch pad and it will come back. He’s already a Mac fan!

He is in awe of the Christmas tree…staring at the lights, touching the branches, and seems to really enjoy it. I can’t wait to celebrate our first Christmas as a family!